I'd like to apologize for posing a bit of an inconvenience to you, but the blog has been moved. Therefore the blog you once knew as www.chibugo.blogspot.com has been moved to https://sincerelychibugo.wordpress.com/. (Sorry for the long address; hopefully you'll get used to it?). All the posts and comments have been moved too, so its not really like a completely fresh start. I'm thankful to those who have followed this little blog of mine from day 1, and I hope never to disappoint you. Hopefully, you'll still be edutained (educated and entertained), and hopefully too, we can all still discuss global and local issues that affect us, and this time you'll definitely be able to join the conversation through the comments section which is so much easier to use. I intend for readers to contribute, since I definitely don't know it all.
Thank you so much. Here's to a better 2016!
Wednesday 30 December 2015
Monday 28 December 2015
Monday Humor - Busted!
I hope you've all been enjoying the holidays so far, despite the fuel situation. Eku enjoyment. How many of una travel go village? Hope country life dey totori una o. Life is too short not to enjoy your holidays biko. Yes its a public holiday and you're all chilling at home with your loved ones, but a little laugh never hurt anyone, right? Lately I've been reminiscing about my uni days and my escapades as an undergrad student (which really aren't much, but make me shake my head a lot of the time). I'm terribly glad I have the ability to laugh at myself in many situations oh. Abeg hypertension cannot come and kill me on top de mata. I wonder how one person could have been in so many hembarrazzing situations in one lifetime. Anyway, I obviously survived them all, so here goes.
While I was in uni, I was what you could call a triangular student. The three locations I was always likely to be found were class, church, or the hostel. I had this really serious facial expression that when people were able to finally get to know me as a friend, they wondered how someone's appearance could be so deceiving, because despite my seriousness, I am a fun person, really. I just didn't play around with my studies. My papa nor send me come school to play.
People would always describe me as serious, focused, churchy, efiko(I wish), upright, echetaram echetaram. I was(still am) that kinda person. Someone said she liked to come to the hostel tap to fetch water whenever I was there because you could be sure that everybody would use their turn and not jump the queue because I would be ready for you! I had people saying "good evening" or "good morning" to me right from first year and always wondered why, until I realized it was my serious face. Chai!
Anyway, on to the mata wey carry me come today. That was how this particular day in my third year, there was a birthday party going on in the hostel lounge. I had been studying all day and I was tired. As I decided to come up for air, since the music from the lounge was quite loud, na im the dj put one beta jam like that. Here's a little secret about me: I'm a really good dancer(especially where no one can see me. lol). Yours truly stood up to the occasion and began to dance her heart out. Chei! I dance ehn, soteey sweat full my body. There was no style I didn't dance that day. You know how you dance without inhibitions when you feel no one is watching? All my craze was let loose that evening into the dance. When I had used dance to exorcise all the demons that usually gather in my head after long hours of study, I was finally satisfied with my little exercise and decided to go to the hostel canteen to get myself a drink. As I passed by the lounge, I saw that the place was full to capacity and people were standing around. They were all over the place. I wondered the big babe that was celebrating this time. As I got outside, I saw that there were even more people gathered there. But here's the weird thing. They were looking at me! And some were trying hard not to. Alarm bells were already going off in my head. I paused first to gauge the situation. I know I am not bad looking, but my beauty is definitely not enough to make these people stare at me like this. I just jejely continued my waka down to the canteen, and guess what I discovered! My window! The darned thing was closed, but the curtains were all open! My room was on the ground floor, so you should know the implication of this discovery by now. The whole world had just witnessed what I call my "craze dance"! My heart started going gbigidim gbigidim gbigidim. I was frozen in place like this for some seconds
before I got myself, closed my open mouth, and kept moving in typical Chibugo style, trying to maintain my composure like nothing happened, while in my mind, this is how I was:
How would I show face again and still be taken as the serious and efiko Chibugo they all knew? Ah! Mogbe! *hands on head* My own yaff finish! I made it back to my room without any mishap other than a few open stares and laughs with pointing fingers. It was not a small something and I'm glad I survived it. Oh boy! Imagine all the babes with their boyfriends and all the chykers who we derisively nickname Ogos(Inlaws in Igbo) watching me in my moments of madness without gate fee. Smh. Shame wan almost kee me that day. Thankfully no one that knew me very well was among the crowd that evening. Praise Master Jesus! I for no hear word till I graduate. On thinking about it later, I realized that I should be glad I was fully clothed while doing the dance, if not,.....*faints*. You know how we can like to wear next to nothing in the dorm rooms, all in the quest to be comfortable. Hehe. Chim mu anya. *beats chest* My God is awake. He wee not let such evil befall Him pikin.
Fin
I hope the story above made you laugh off life's stress. A reader suggested I request other readers to contribute stories to the Monday Humor column, to enable some variety. I quite agree. So if you have funny personal stories you would like to share, do send it in an email to bugovidase@gmail.com.
Dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt. Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.- William W. Purkey
While I was in uni, I was what you could call a triangular student. The three locations I was always likely to be found were class, church, or the hostel. I had this really serious facial expression that when people were able to finally get to know me as a friend, they wondered how someone's appearance could be so deceiving, because despite my seriousness, I am a fun person, really. I just didn't play around with my studies. My papa nor send me come school to play.
People would always describe me as serious, focused, churchy, efiko(I wish), upright, echetaram echetaram. I was(still am) that kinda person. Someone said she liked to come to the hostel tap to fetch water whenever I was there because you could be sure that everybody would use their turn and not jump the queue because I would be ready for you! I had people saying "good evening" or "good morning" to me right from first year and always wondered why, until I realized it was my serious face. Chai!
Anyway, on to the mata wey carry me come today. That was how this particular day in my third year, there was a birthday party going on in the hostel lounge. I had been studying all day and I was tired. As I decided to come up for air, since the music from the lounge was quite loud, na im the dj put one beta jam like that. Here's a little secret about me: I'm a really good dancer(especially where no one can see me. lol). Yours truly stood up to the occasion and began to dance her heart out. Chei! I dance ehn, soteey sweat full my body. There was no style I didn't dance that day. You know how you dance without inhibitions when you feel no one is watching? All my craze was let loose that evening into the dance. When I had used dance to exorcise all the demons that usually gather in my head after long hours of study, I was finally satisfied with my little exercise and decided to go to the hostel canteen to get myself a drink. As I passed by the lounge, I saw that the place was full to capacity and people were standing around. They were all over the place. I wondered the big babe that was celebrating this time. As I got outside, I saw that there were even more people gathered there. But here's the weird thing. They were looking at me! And some were trying hard not to. Alarm bells were already going off in my head. I paused first to gauge the situation. I know I am not bad looking, but my beauty is definitely not enough to make these people stare at me like this. I just jejely continued my waka down to the canteen, and guess what I discovered! My window! The darned thing was closed, but the curtains were all open! My room was on the ground floor, so you should know the implication of this discovery by now. The whole world had just witnessed what I call my "craze dance"! My heart started going gbigidim gbigidim gbigidim. I was frozen in place like this for some seconds
before I got myself, closed my open mouth, and kept moving in typical Chibugo style, trying to maintain my composure like nothing happened, while in my mind, this is how I was:
source |
Fin
I hope the story above made you laugh off life's stress. A reader suggested I request other readers to contribute stories to the Monday Humor column, to enable some variety. I quite agree. So if you have funny personal stories you would like to share, do send it in an email to bugovidase@gmail.com.
Dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt. Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.- William W. Purkey
Saturday 26 December 2015
Life Lessons I Learned From Miss Universe 2015
Okay, let me break down this situation to you. A girl participates in a huge beauty pageant and is picked out of a whole bunch of other girls. She is on the stage with just one contestant beside her, so it's either of them. One of them is Miss Colombia and the other is Miss Philippines. Next thing the name of the winner is called out and voila! Its the girl next to her, Miss Colombia. She receives her flower and crown, and excitedly waves her national flag. Miss Philippines is sent to stand back in line with the others. In the next two minutes the event moderator comes to announce that there's been a big mistake and that the real Miss Universe is Miss Philippines and not Miss Colombia! OMG! You may not feel the gravity of this situation if you don't watch the video.
source |
photo of the result card that got Steve confused |
Anyone who has participated in a pageant of any sort, no matter how small, in fact any competition at all, would understand how nerve racking this kinda situation could be. I really felt bad for Steve when he came in, looking embarrassed and said: "Okay folks, I have to apologize...". Even though I'm surprised that Steve Harvey my man, who is such a pro at what he does, could make such a mistake, I'm feeling somewhere in my mind that this was a stunt by the organizers of Miss Universe to gain popularity! If it is, I sure hope he was well paid! That's just a thought though, don't sue me. Before I ramble on and on and forget why I began writing this post in the first place, let me give you these two heavy duty points I was able to take away from this event.
1. No one on earth is has the ability to permanently keep you from reaching your dreams. In simple English: delay is definitely not denial. (If you're ever in Miss Philippines' shoes, this is for you)
2. The tides of life sometimes bring us fleeting victories. In whatever context whether victory or defeat, remain gracious. Summary of my point: Be gracious even in defeat. (This is for the Miss Colombias). If you watched the video, you must have noticed that even when it was clear that Miss Colombia's two minutes of fame were over, she couldn't bring herself to graciously hand over the crown. The Ex-Queen had to come remove it from her head to place upon its rightful owner. I believe the whole world would have had a whole lot more respect for her if she had made the move herself. If I were her, I would definitely have removed the crown myself, if not for anything, just for the fact that the whole world was watching me at that moment. Anyway, we'll just chalk it up to shock.
Personally, I'd rather be a Miss Philippines than a Miss Colombia in this life. I'm just talking my own oh. Chai! It can be painful to have a lump of sugar placed in your mouth and be forced to spit it out to be given to someone else. You get warra mean? Speak your thoughts in the comments if you can relate.
Have a lovely Christmas weekend!
There are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one's cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do, a future that is impossible to ignore. - Nicholas Sparks.
Thursday 24 December 2015
What Is Christmas To You?
Christmas is here!!! I wish I were more excited though. Somebody please bring back my childhood!!! I can tell that Christmas means many different things to many different people just by walking down the street. Its funny that the real reason for the season is sometimes totally forgotten in the midst of it all. For some, It could mean
1. A time to travel home
2. A time to play with fireworks and play pranks with friends
3. A time to socialize, visit all the people you missed visiting all year
4. A time to soberly reflect on the almost concluded year
5. A time to go out, party and get "weisted". You know warra mean
6. A time to buy stuff you know you can't afford in order to make expensive shakara
7. A time to share time and resources with loved ones and the needy
8. A time to just sleep and catch up on rest
9. A time to be with family
10. A time to #turnup at Church
If you're a combination of groups 1, 4, 7, 8, 9 and 10, then you're pretty much a laid back low-key kinda person; much like me. Lol
If you're a combination of groups 1, 2, 3, 5, 7 and 10, you're too much of a social animal. *runs away*
If you're a combination of groups 1, 2, 3, 5, 6 and 7, errr, I think I need to help you manage your account.
If you belong to only one or two groups, OYO is your case oh!
Just thought to peep through this flimsy excuse of a post to wish you my friends and blog visitors a Very Merry Christmas!!! I detest having to say Happy Holidays, but since I know its not only Christians that visit this space, let me wish you all a joyful Christmas celebration and happy holidays. Keep in mind that Jesus is the reason for the season, and behave accordingly! Ahem!
Have fun, but remember to stay safe too! Kizzes!!!
1. A time to travel home
2. A time to play with fireworks and play pranks with friends
3. A time to socialize, visit all the people you missed visiting all year
4. A time to soberly reflect on the almost concluded year
5. A time to go out, party and get "weisted". You know warra mean
6. A time to buy stuff you know you can't afford in order to make expensive shakara
7. A time to share time and resources with loved ones and the needy
8. A time to just sleep and catch up on rest
9. A time to be with family
10. A time to #turnup at Church
If you're a combination of groups 1, 4, 7, 8, 9 and 10, then you're pretty much a laid back low-key kinda person; much like me. Lol
If you're a combination of groups 1, 2, 3, 5, 7 and 10, you're too much of a social animal. *runs away*
If you're a combination of groups 1, 2, 3, 5, 6 and 7, errr, I think I need to help you manage your account.
If you belong to only one or two groups, OYO is your case oh!
Just thought to peep through this flimsy excuse of a post to wish you my friends and blog visitors a Very Merry Christmas!!! I detest having to say Happy Holidays, but since I know its not only Christians that visit this space, let me wish you all a joyful Christmas celebration and happy holidays. Keep in mind that Jesus is the reason for the season, and behave accordingly! Ahem!
Have fun, but remember to stay safe too! Kizzes!!!
Wednesday 23 December 2015
Mid week Mendemende - Look What Linda Ikeji Caused
When I decided to start writing this blog, I had one thing in mind; to have an interactive space where people(my target audience being young people like myself) could drop by and share ideas, be entertained sometimes, and proffer solutions to current issues where applicable. I started this blog almost two years ago but only got around to writing in it some months back. It takes time and commitment to keep to a schedule, and not just that, but to come up with creative and original stuff to blog about. I really hate to steal people's ideas as pose them as mine. Every single post is well thought out before it gets published.
Imagine my surprise when an old friend from uni called me to congratulate me. The conversation was something like this:
Friend: Hey Bugo, what's up?
Me: I'm great, how u doing?
Friend: I'm managing oh, unlike you naaw. I heard you started writing a blog
Me: Haha. But that doesn't change anything naaw. I'm still a struggling babe.
Friend: Hmmmm. You people sef. The next thing I know now you'll buy your own house on Banana Island. Be there deceiving us.
Me: (Jaw dropping)Ewo, How that one wan take happen naaw?
Friend: Meaning you're not making anything reasonable from your blog ehn?
Me: Oga, I'm not making shishi. What even makes you think everyone who owns a blog actually makes money from it? I even spend on my data and all that, and this one is speaking of money. Choi! Na wetin Linda Ikeji don cause be dis!
Friend: Then what inspires you to keep posting when there seems not to be any benefit from what you're saying?
Me: The fact that people actually read my blog and give me great feedback, dazall.
Friend: I find that hard to believe o
Me: Ngwanu, believe whatever you may, but I don't make anything from my blog. I'm even hosting it on a free platform at the moment.(already getting annoyed)
Friend:(taking the hint) Okay ooo, I just felt that knowing what you're capable of, that blog would be making plenty money for you right now and I decided to congratulate you and famz small. I didn't know it wasn't so. Biko nor vex.
Me: Issorait.
I have a feeling he still doesn't believe me and I laugh when I think of this call. I wince when I think that many other people must be thinking the same way. So all bloggers are rich ehn? SMH. If it was so, every Nigerian who owns a laptop would be a blogger by now. Abi you no trust Nigerians? LOL. It takes time, commitment and creativity to build a blog from scratch and sustain it to the extent that it drives enough traffic to draw advertisers, which is where most of the money usually comes from. You have to be in it for something other than money: passion. I'm from a very sciencey educational background and I love my sciences but I also love to express my artistic side through writing about stuff around me, expressing my thoughts and opinions in my very own unique style. I'm still very new at blogging and it will take ages before I make one kobo here, if I eventually monetize. The feedback I get from the blog via emails, calls and messages from those who want to comment but can't, is sufficient to keep me going. If I eventually start making anything from this space, trust that you guys would be the first to know. Some people actually decide not to make anything from their blogs even when they have the traffic. Who knows? I may follow that path. People be comparing every blogger to Linda Ikeji. Smh. I have lost count of the number of ads on her blog. Its really like comparing a fry to a whale. LOL.
So guys, what is the biggest myth you've ever had to bust in your niche? How absurd did it sound? Please share in the comments section!
MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS!!!! BLESSINGS!
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style. - Maya Angelou
Imagine my surprise when an old friend from uni called me to congratulate me. The conversation was something like this:
Friend: Hey Bugo, what's up?
Me: I'm great, how u doing?
Friend: I'm managing oh, unlike you naaw. I heard you started writing a blog
Me: Haha. But that doesn't change anything naaw. I'm still a struggling babe.
Friend: Hmmmm. You people sef. The next thing I know now you'll buy your own house on Banana Island. Be there deceiving us.
Me: (Jaw dropping)Ewo, How that one wan take happen naaw?
Friend: Meaning you're not making anything reasonable from your blog ehn?
Me: Oga, I'm not making shishi. What even makes you think everyone who owns a blog actually makes money from it? I even spend on my data and all that, and this one is speaking of money. Choi! Na wetin Linda Ikeji don cause be dis!
Friend: Then what inspires you to keep posting when there seems not to be any benefit from what you're saying?
Me: The fact that people actually read my blog and give me great feedback, dazall.
Friend: I find that hard to believe o
Me: Ngwanu, believe whatever you may, but I don't make anything from my blog. I'm even hosting it on a free platform at the moment.(already getting annoyed)
Friend:(taking the hint) Okay ooo, I just felt that knowing what you're capable of, that blog would be making plenty money for you right now and I decided to congratulate you and famz small. I didn't know it wasn't so. Biko nor vex.
Me: Issorait.
I have a feeling he still doesn't believe me and I laugh when I think of this call. I wince when I think that many other people must be thinking the same way. So all bloggers are rich ehn? SMH. If it was so, every Nigerian who owns a laptop would be a blogger by now. Abi you no trust Nigerians? LOL. It takes time, commitment and creativity to build a blog from scratch and sustain it to the extent that it drives enough traffic to draw advertisers, which is where most of the money usually comes from. You have to be in it for something other than money: passion. I'm from a very sciencey educational background and I love my sciences but I also love to express my artistic side through writing about stuff around me, expressing my thoughts and opinions in my very own unique style. I'm still very new at blogging and it will take ages before I make one kobo here, if I eventually monetize. The feedback I get from the blog via emails, calls and messages from those who want to comment but can't, is sufficient to keep me going. If I eventually start making anything from this space, trust that you guys would be the first to know. Some people actually decide not to make anything from their blogs even when they have the traffic. Who knows? I may follow that path. People be comparing every blogger to Linda Ikeji. Smh. I have lost count of the number of ads on her blog. Its really like comparing a fry to a whale. LOL.
So guys, what is the biggest myth you've ever had to bust in your niche? How absurd did it sound? Please share in the comments section!
MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS!!!! BLESSINGS!
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style. - Maya Angelou
Monday 21 December 2015
Monday Humor - The Facebeat
Hi guys! How was the weekend? Too short eh? But we still gotta do what we gotta do, right? So during the weekend, I realized I didn't have any story in my head for today's Monday humor post. How is that even possible? My life is one series of funny events!(Not always funny to me though) But alas, I was blank. Not for long though. I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of the harmattan winds howling fiercely and rattling the windows in the house. Brrrr! Terrible stuff! As I was about diving back into the blankets I had a flash back to another harmattan, exactly eleven months ago......
I was a youth corps member serving in a rural part of Benue state at the time. I'd been there for a couple of months and felt I had acclimatized. Until the harmattan came upon us. One would think I wouldn't be too bothered; I after all went to uni in Nsukka, which is known for its phenomenal harmattan cold and accompanying "fog". I learnt the hard way that compared to the harmattan in Benue, that of Nsukka was still "learning work". Keep a slice of bread on the table and blink, and you would be left with a slab of concrete. It was so dry, your spit could dry up before it hit the ground. I kid, I kid. But it was indeed terrible. The dryness was unbelieveable! And the cold? God knows why he made me a Nigerian oh, because if winter is said to be worse than the harmattan which we complain of, then I can only wonder what winter is like. Everyone went about wearing sweaters and socks and I am sure every Sunday in church during that period, we must have had more than a few people with unwashed bodies; all for the fear of harmattan's bite.
But then I digress. In my LGA of Benue state, we had no bank. Unbelievable right? I know, I know. Even I don't know how I survived without a bank around for almost a year. So in my LGA( Ugba town in Logo LGA), the corps members and anyone else who needed to use a bank would have to "travel" to the next LGA(Ukum LGA) to use the ATM machine. We usually did this once or twice a month to reduce the stress of moving around unnecessarily. Sometimes you could have company, especially if it was market day (which coincided with our CDS day)but other times everyone would be forming broke and beg you to help them withdraw. One could leave for Zaki-Biam town in Ukum with as much as 6 atm cards!
So on this day, I really had to withdraw some cash as I had run out. No one wanted to go with me and so I had to do my thing solo. I didn't want to go because the cold and dust was on another level that day. I took one look at the okada riders and my liver fail me. They looked like they had been rolled in sand over and over again. I chalked it up to the fact that they must have plied the Ugba-Zaki Biam route many times and I felt pity for them. Imagine having to breathe all this dust to make a living. This harmattan is not nice. But yours truly took just one look at her wallet and knew she was playing. I HAD to go. So I took a deep breath and walked to the taxi park. No taxis. Ewo. It had finally come to this. I had to take a motorcycle. So I said warraheck and got on one. As we went along, the wind played with my hair and I began to compose a poem in my mind. crazy much? Even though it was cold, I was well protected by my sweater and so got lost in wonder as I looked at the once green countryside that had now gone totally brown.
In no time I had arrived my destination so I jumped down and dusted myself hastily. I got to the ATM machine and found people gathered round it speaking Tiv rapidly. Even though they all looked at me weirdly, I gathered that the machine had given up few minutes ago. I quietly slinked into the banking hall before it would occur to them to crowd the hall in order to try withdrawing over the counter. In the bank, I got talking with the customer service guy and I was surprised he was smiling so openly while speaking to me. That was unusual of him. He was always business-like every time I came there. I shrugged it away and proceeded to collect my cash. While in line though, I had noticed that the people around were looking at me strangely, but I decided to ignore them. It isn't unusual to be stared at as a corps member in a rural area, especially when in uniform, which I was. So I shrugged it off, took my money and left. As I entered the security doors while exiting the bank, I thought I heard someone make a statement in Tiv and everyone laughed while looking in my direction, but I couldn't be sure it was me they were laughing at, so I smiled too and left.
Another bike ride later, I was home. whew! Thank God that was over. I entered the house, and found my roommate asleep. While taking off my sweater, I saw a reflection of myself in the mirror. And I screamed!!! I looked like this:
I was a youth corps member serving in a rural part of Benue state at the time. I'd been there for a couple of months and felt I had acclimatized. Until the harmattan came upon us. One would think I wouldn't be too bothered; I after all went to uni in Nsukka, which is known for its phenomenal harmattan cold and accompanying "fog". I learnt the hard way that compared to the harmattan in Benue, that of Nsukka was still "learning work". Keep a slice of bread on the table and blink, and you would be left with a slab of concrete. It was so dry, your spit could dry up before it hit the ground. I kid, I kid. But it was indeed terrible. The dryness was unbelieveable! And the cold? God knows why he made me a Nigerian oh, because if winter is said to be worse than the harmattan which we complain of, then I can only wonder what winter is like. Everyone went about wearing sweaters and socks and I am sure every Sunday in church during that period, we must have had more than a few people with unwashed bodies; all for the fear of harmattan's bite.
But then I digress. In my LGA of Benue state, we had no bank. Unbelievable right? I know, I know. Even I don't know how I survived without a bank around for almost a year. So in my LGA( Ugba town in Logo LGA), the corps members and anyone else who needed to use a bank would have to "travel" to the next LGA(Ukum LGA) to use the ATM machine. We usually did this once or twice a month to reduce the stress of moving around unnecessarily. Sometimes you could have company, especially if it was market day (which coincided with our CDS day)but other times everyone would be forming broke and beg you to help them withdraw. One could leave for Zaki-Biam town in Ukum with as much as 6 atm cards!
So on this day, I really had to withdraw some cash as I had run out. No one wanted to go with me and so I had to do my thing solo. I didn't want to go because the cold and dust was on another level that day. I took one look at the okada riders and my liver fail me. They looked like they had been rolled in sand over and over again. I chalked it up to the fact that they must have plied the Ugba-Zaki Biam route many times and I felt pity for them. Imagine having to breathe all this dust to make a living. This harmattan is not nice. But yours truly took just one look at her wallet and knew she was playing. I HAD to go. So I took a deep breath and walked to the taxi park. No taxis. Ewo. It had finally come to this. I had to take a motorcycle. So I said warraheck and got on one. As we went along, the wind played with my hair and I began to compose a poem in my mind. crazy much? Even though it was cold, I was well protected by my sweater and so got lost in wonder as I looked at the once green countryside that had now gone totally brown.
In no time I had arrived my destination so I jumped down and dusted myself hastily. I got to the ATM machine and found people gathered round it speaking Tiv rapidly. Even though they all looked at me weirdly, I gathered that the machine had given up few minutes ago. I quietly slinked into the banking hall before it would occur to them to crowd the hall in order to try withdrawing over the counter. In the bank, I got talking with the customer service guy and I was surprised he was smiling so openly while speaking to me. That was unusual of him. He was always business-like every time I came there. I shrugged it away and proceeded to collect my cash. While in line though, I had noticed that the people around were looking at me strangely, but I decided to ignore them. It isn't unusual to be stared at as a corps member in a rural area, especially when in uniform, which I was. So I shrugged it off, took my money and left. As I entered the security doors while exiting the bank, I thought I heard someone make a statement in Tiv and everyone laughed while looking in my direction, but I couldn't be sure it was me they were laughing at, so I smiled too and left.
Another bike ride later, I was home. whew! Thank God that was over. I entered the house, and found my roommate asleep. While taking off my sweater, I saw a reflection of myself in the mirror. And I screamed!!! I looked like this:
source |
As I yelled dramatically, my roommate woke up and asked what the matter was. I told her and she only laughed her head off while I continued in my hysteria. OMG! No wonder the customer service guy had been so friendly suddenly. And the people had probably been laughing at me!!!
Oh the shame! The shame! The shame! Such mean people! And no one had thought to tell me either! I smacked my head comically several times, only serving to fuel my roommate's laughter. I really resembled the boy up there, and I couldn't wrap my mind around that fact. I mean, I'd left the house looking like a diva, makeup and everything! The gel in my hair had only made the situation worse; it served as an adhesive, attracting all the dust that came my way and packing them on my head. Was it my lashes? I hadn't any. They were completely brown and blended into my face. Chai. What a mean world.
I still laugh privately in embarrassment whenever I remember. Hehe. Have a great week, amigo!
Fin
I hope the story above made you laugh. A reader suggested I request other readers to contribute stories to the Monday Humor column, to enable some variety. I quite agree. So if you have funny personal stories you would like to share, do send it in an email to bugovidase@gmail.com.
The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can take - Douglas Engelbart
Wednesday 16 December 2015
Mid-Week Mendemende - Celebrity Status: Would You Want It Or Not?
As I sang the last few lines of my song, ending my performance for the night, thunderous applause greeted me. I waved and curtseyed a few times, grinning from ear to ear while blowing kisses at my fans even as they screamed my name in a rhythmic chant:Chibugo! Chibugo! Chibugo! They threw roses at my feet and the camera lights went off from all directions, almost blinding me..... "Wake up jooor! Sleepy head! It's time for morning prayers." As usual, my big sister, (whom I will call Kembu for the purpose of writing on this blog) had put on the lights and shaken me roughly out of my sweet sleep. Here was stark reality. I was no superstar. As I grabbed my bible and groggily stumbled over into the living room, I wondered what it would really be like to be a star.
I am pretty sure this isn't too far from the dream of many young people. To be famous. These days it's really easy to become famous, what with the help of social media and the Internet boom. All you have to do is consistently take sexy pictures of yourself and gain many followers, and bam! You're an Instant Instagram Celebrity. Recently though, in my more serious moments of soul-searching, somehow my teenage dream of being a star slid into my consciousness and I marveled at how things had changed between then and now. I'm no longer so sure that fame would be such a great thing for someone like me. So., what's your take? Do you crave celebrity status? What extent do you think you can go to get there?
Let me breakdown some of the pros and cons of being a celebrity. I'll start with the good part.
PROS
1. You will be rich:. This is the most obvious benefit of fame. Whether as a sports person or an entertainment personality, you're generally going to make money much faster than the average Obi that works in a bank. This translates to luxury houses and cars, designer everything, first class trips to places only seen in magazines and the best of everything money can buy. Dang! It is a great life, I must admit. Who nor like beta tin?
2. You will get special treatment almost everywhere: You will be given the best treatments in restaurants, bars, at the cinema, in the banks and airports, and even in church. People of the opposite sex will come running when you call. Enough said.
3. You will have a lot of fans: If you are a guy, be prepared to see girls faint when you enter the mall. Whatever field you're a star in, get ready to be constantly surrounded by your supporters. You will be asked the dream question: "Could you please sign my autograph?" Trust that you will be recognized everywhere you go. This can be a serious ego boost.
4. You will have more opportunities: When you excel in your field, it is highly likely that you will be called upon to be a brand ambassador for a brand associated with what you do. This translates to more money! I heard the alleged amount that Kim Kardashian charges to promote a brand by only sending out a tweet and I was dumbstruck. Ees not a small something oh.
CONS
1. No privacy: This is the number one problem with fame, I think. With the advent of social media, it gets worse since whatever you put up is out there for the whole world to see.. Even if you don't subscribe to social media there is every possibility that the paparazzi will stalk you wherever you go. This can make one get paranoid or live one's life always trying to be and look perfect. We know it isn't possible to always be perfect, so being caught in an unflattering position is going to happen often. Your life becomes fodder for the gossip blogs and they can be ruthless. RUTHLESS, I tell you.
2. You will be constantly judged: You don't have to be bad to be judged. Just one bad outfit to an event, or one grammatically incorrect statement and you're it. You decide to give birth in Nigeria, you will be called broke. You decide to give birth in the US, you will be called unpatriotic and ostentatious in spending. You decide to drive an average car, you will be called aka-gum, you decide to do the flashy cars, people will prophesy about your imminent downfall due to overspending. You really can't please everyone, heck, even an average Joe couldn't please everyone if he tried. Your case will only be worse.
3. You can't do what the average guy can do or go where he can go: You could be mobbed by fans just because you stepped out to get a bottle of water from the shop down the street. You will need security. Not nice. Everyone will feel they have a right to you, like, brother, you just became public property. You have to always be in the mood to smile and say nice things to people you don't know, even when you're in the exact opposite mood. So somebody cannot just be free to vex as he/she wants? Na real wah.
4. You will be surrounded by lots of fake friends: You will have lots of friends but may not be able to distinguish between who is in it for you and who is in it for what you offer them. After all your fame also rubs off on them. This translates to every relationship including romantic ones. Celebrities that are on the hunt for "true love" may find it twice as hard as the average Kunle or Bala that does a normal job and lives a normal life. Everyone or almost everyone will want to exploit you because of what they think they can gain from you. Including family.
5. You become a target for criminals. Even if you're not financially buoyant at the time, you will still be seen as a star with loads of money. So the criminals may feel they need to relieve you of a couple million and decide to rob or kidnap you or a loved one.
I think that to be a celebrity you need to have spine. It's easier to just be rich and only have to worry about your security but to be a celebrity, you will need to be a certain kind of person to get famous, remain famous, and have some semblance of normalcy in your life, just like every other human being(which we often forget that celebrities are).
Would I want to be a celebrity? My default answer is no, but then, who knows tomorrow? ;) I can't tell what could make me famous someday. I would like to be rich though, that brings some kind of fame, just not as glaring. That kinda fame, I can handle. :D What about you? Do you crave celebrity status? Do you think you could deal with everything that comes with it?
Share!
Kisses, hugs and steaming suya
Chibugo.
Make sure your desire to do what you're aspiring to do is deeper than just fame and being a celebrity - Meagan Good
Make sure your desire to do what you're aspiring to do is deeper than just fame and being a celebrity - Meagan Good
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